


You, Me and the Go-Go Rider

by Baz



Category: 50/50 (2011), Actor RPF, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Pitch Perfect (Movies), Pitch Perfect RPF, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010), The Accountant (2016), The To Do List (2013), Trolls (2016)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, F/M, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-09 08:40:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13477788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baz/pseuds/Baz
Summary: Anna Kendrick and Aubrey Plaza get addicted to a gory superhero PC game called "Go-Go Rider". After completing the game, they manage to get the Go-Go Rider out of the game and into our world.Unfortunately, they also let out the villains from the game too.Can Anna, Aubrey and the Go-Go Rider defeat the monsters and save the world?





	1. Chapter 1

YOU, ME AND THE GO-GO RIDER

 

Anna Kendrick was filming a movie in Washington. A boring political thriller, in Anna’s words “It’s a bunch of politics, talking, talking and no action, and that’s about it.”

 

Like most actors, Anna of course only did the movie for the money. Since her friends’ birthdays were coming up, she wanted to buy them something nice and expensive, like holidays in Europe or something.

 

She bought a house and was sharing with her best friend, Aubrey Plaza, who was doing a stand up tour in Washington.

 

Since filming can be a long, slow and tedious process, actors would pass the time by talking to members of the cast and crew. Anna became close with a props guy named Jonathan, who was in his mid-20’s.

 

He and Anna talked about the 90’s a lot and one day he told her “I still have a Windows 95.”

 

“Prove it,” said Anna.

 

Jonathan took Anna to a store room and switched on the lights. There was the computer right in the middle of the room.

 

“Holy shit,” said Anna.

 

“It still works and I got a good load of games for it,” said Jonathan.

 

Anna looked at all the games. There was “Battle Beast”, “The Lost Mind of Dr Brain”, “Magic School Bus Explores in the Age of the Dinosaurs”, “Nickelodeon 3D Movie Maker” and “The Simpsons Cartoon Studio”.

 

“Oh the NOSTALGIA!” cried Anna.

 

But there was one game that caught Anna’s eye. It was called “Go-Go Rider”. The cover featured a sort of purple Power Ranger like character who was in a strange planet.

 

“What’s that?” asked Anna.

 

“I dunno,” answered Jonathan. “Never seen it before. Wonder has Brutal Moose heard of this. You can play it if you like.”

 

He switched on the computer and opened up the CD drive. Anna put in the game and it began to load.

 

The game opened with a cheesy Full Motion Video. It featured actors in front of a blue screen with really dodgy CGI backgrounds. It looked like something out of “Escape From LA” or “Power Rangers: The Movie”.

 

“Wow, grade A effects that could put ILM to shame,” Anna said sarcastically. “Still, kinda nostalgic seeing this bad 90’s CGI.”

 

The Go-Go Rider herself was dressed in a Purple Spandex and helmet. It looked like something out of Power Rangers, Xena or Goosebumps.

 

Another thing that caught Anna’s attention was how gory the game was. The cutscene featured Go-Go Rider ripping an enemy’s guts out, then she kicked off another guy’s head and blood sprayed out like a geyser.

 

“Holy Fuckballs! Was Peter Jackson involved with this?” asked Anna.

 

She looked at the case. There was no game company on it.

 

“Maybe this is a forbidden game that got banned and we’re playing a pirate copy or something,” said Anna.

 

The game began. It was a Point and Click adventure game where you had click an area and make the Go-Go Rider move to that area you chose. You also had to click on items to pick up.

 

The game was about terrorist aliens invading Go-Go Rider’s home planet and you have to get rid of them all in different levels. Much like “Final Fantasy”, you get into battles with Space orcs and other monsters. However, unlike Final Fantasy, the fights were VERY gory. At one point, the Go-Go Rider split a man in half with her laser axe causing his organs to fall out, then another scene where the Go-Go Rider rips an evil woman’s face off and eats it.

 

“The skin is the best part,” said the Go-Go Rider.

 

The game was full of bad dialogue like “I will kill you until you die” and “I have you now, Go-Go Rider Mu-haw-haw-haw!”

 

“Jeez, and I thought ‘Cool Cats Saves the Kids’ had bad dialogue,” said Anna.

 

An hour and a half later, Anna was getting really hooked, until…..

 

“Anna, you’re needed on set.”

 

Anna was annoyed, but decided to ask Jonathan…..

 

“Hey, Jonathan, could I……..?”

 

“You want to borrow the computer?” asked Jonathan.

 

“If it is no trouble,” said Anna.

 

“Sure,” replied Jonathan.

 

“Oh thanks,” said Anna.

 

So, that day after filming, Jonathan took the computer to Anna’s house and she continued to play the game.

 

That night, Aubrey came home.

 

“Hi bitch,” she said to Anna.

 

“Hey, Aub,” Anna greeted back.

 

“What the fuck are you playing a crappy 90’s computer for?” asked Aubrey.

 

“Props guy gave it to me,” answered Anna. “I’m addicted to this game.”

 

“Looks like crap,” said Aubrey.

 

“Fun though,” replied Anna.

 

Aubrey read the cover art and then caught a glimpse of the Go-Go Rider taking her helmet off.

 

“She's hot though, the Go-Go Rider,” she said. “She looks like Sofia Boutella, from that fuckin' God Awful Mummy movie.”

 

“The only good thing about it,” remarked Anna.

 

The screen showed Go-Go Rider spinning whilst holding onto two chainsaws. She sliced off 3 guard’s heads with one swift blow.

 

“They don’t skimp on the gore, don’t they?” asked Aubrey.

 

“You wanna play?” asked Anna.

 

“Naw, not into those type of games,” answered Aubrey.

 

But a few hours later, Aubrey was just as hooked into the game as much as Anna was. They just saw a scene where the Go-Go Rider rips out an enemy’s intestines and wrapped them around him like bandages on a mummy.

 

“Dude, that is so fuckin' gross!” cried Aubrey.

 

“But so awesome!”, added Anna.

 

They more they played the game, the more booze they drank and snacks they ate.

 

Another few hours later, and there was a knock on the door.

 

“Go away,” shouted Aubrey.

 

“Anna, what are you doing?” asked a member of the film crew from outside. “You’re needed on set.”

 

The door opened and the crew member came in. He walked over to the window and opened the curtains. It was morning outside.

 

 "Holy shitnugget," said Anna .

 

“You’ve been playing that game all night!” said the crewmember. “C’mon, get to set!”

 

Poor Anna had to go to set with no sleep. She yawned all day and had trouble filming her extra long dialogue scene that she was meant to memorize. 20 takes later, and she finally got it.

 

It was a good thing she had the day off tomorrow, which meant she could play more “Go-Go Rider”.

 

After a great night’s sleep, Anna played the rest of “Go-Go Rider” the next day.

 

Hours and hours went by, until finally, that night, she made it to the last boss.

 

The boss was named Nulla Novitate and she wore black and red leather. She had short red hair and had piercing blue eyes. She and the Go-Go Rider exchanged bad banter before the battle.

 

“Ah, Go-Go Rider. At last we meet. Until you die!”

 

“I will kill you dead until you die!”

 

“Boy, they seem to say the word ‘die’ at every sentence,” remarked Anna.

 

Nulla could be defeated with acid being sprayed into her face, that the Go-Go Rider had to collect earlier. Anna clicked on the acid at the toolbar at the bottom of the screen and then clicked on Nulla’s face.

 

The cut scene showed the Go-Go Rider smashing the bottle into Nulla’s face. Nulla screamed and then for no reason, a massive vortex appeared behind her, sucking all of her minions into it. Nulla herself got sucked in.

 

Then an option came on the screen: “Go into Vortex? Hit Y or N.”

 

Anna hit the Y button on her keyboard and the cutscene showed the Go-Go Rider jumping into the vortex and………

 

The screen went black and the words “To Be Continued” appeared. Then it went back to the main menu.

 

“Is that it?” asked a disappointed Anna. “Well, it was a great game, but the fucking ending sucked. Why do games have such shitty endings?”

 

She turned off the computer and saw that it was 12.38. She then went to bed.

 

The next morning, Anna woke up and she could smell someone cooking bacon and eggs. She got up and went into the kitchen.

 

There was someone in there all right.

 

It was a woman dressed in a tight purple spandex suit, but her helmet was on the table. The woman turned around. It was the Go-Go Rider!

 

“Hello, I’m just getting used to the technology you have on your planet,” she said. “Coffee?”

 

Anna was confused. Then she got it.

 

“Okay, very funny guys!” she called out to whoever was listening. “Very funny, now come on out.”

 

“Who are you talking to?” asked the Go-Go Rider.

 

“The crew who is involved in your prank,” answered Anna. “C’mon, ‘Punk’d’ is so fuckin' 2003.”

 

The Go-Go Rider had no idea what Anna was talking about.

 

Anna then went to the computer and picked up the cover for the Go-Go Rider game. She looked at the cover and then looked at the Go-Go Rider.

 

“Still, you look exactly like the actress from the game,” she said.

 

Then it hit her. It WAS the actress from the game. But then the game was made in the 90’s, and the actress looked like she was 25. Which meant that the actress who played her in the game would be in her late 40’s.

 

Anna was confused. She sat at the table and the Go-Go Rider gave her a plate of fried eggs, sausages and bacon.

 

“How did you get here?” Anna asked the Go-Go Rider.

 

“You rescued me,” said the Go-Go Rider. “When you completed the game, you were given the option to jump into the vortex and save me. You said yes and I thank you.”

 

Aubrey came out of her room and yawned.

 

“Morning, sluts. Anna, make me some breakfast will ya?”

 

Then Aubrey saw the Go-Go Rider.

 

“What the flying fuck?”

 

“Aub, meet the Go-Go Rider,” said Anna.

 

“Pleasure,” said the Go-Go Rider as she shook Aubrey’s hand. But she grabbed it a little too hard.

 

“Wow, you have quite a grip,” winches Aubrey. “Could you let go now?”

 

“Okay,” said the Go-Go Rider.

 

“Okay, erm, do you have any proof that you’re the Go-Go Rider?” Anna asked her.

 

“Well,” said the Go-Go Rider with a smile.

 

Then she pressed a few buttons on her wrist and a holographic licence came out.

 

“Will that suffice?”

 

Anna and Aubrey were surprised.

 

“Kinda?” they both said.

 

“Can you fire lasers out of your wrist like in the game?” asked Aubrey.

 

“Sure,” answered the Go-Go Rider. “But if you want proof, I need a target.”

 

Aubrey had a magazine picture of Piers Morgan on a dart board. She held it up.

 

“Ah, is this man an evil businessman?” asked the Go-Go Rider.

 

“YES!” Anna and Aubrey said without hesitation.

 

The Go-Go Rider held up her wrist and pointed it at the picture.

 

“Don’t blow my hands off,” said Aubrey.

 

“Hold still, Miss Plaza,” said the Go-Go Rider.

 

And then…….

 

ZAPP!

 

The Go-Go Rider fired her laser and it hit the dart board destroying it into pieces.

 

“Awesome!” said Aubrey. “Now, to kill the real thing!”

 

“No! No!” said Anna. “Go-Go Rider, a few rules okay. 1. In our world, no killing cos that’s illegal here…..”

 

The Go-Go Rider looked disappointed.

 

“2. You can't go around dressed like that,” continued Anna. “So, we'll take you to dress like we do.”

 

“Let’s get something sexy,” said the Go-Go Rider.

 

So Anna and Aubrey took the Go-Go Rider to a clothes shop, and the Go-Go Rider found herself a purple jacket and tight black leather pants and boots.

 

“I like it, it’s very me,” she said.

 

Anna and Aubrey were amazed as they saw the Go-Go Rider in her gear.

 

“I thank fuck that I am bisexual,” swooned Aubrey. “Anna, you have no idea what you are missing.”

 

Anna and Aubrey took Go-Go Rider to the food court in the mall. The Go-Go Rider muched away at fried egg rice and sweet and sour chicken.

 

“This stuff is amazing,” she said. “In our planet, all we had to eat was mouldy bread and space cockroaches.”

 

“Oh, another thing,” said Aubrey. “No mentioning of your planet, okay.”

 

“Righty-O,” said the Go-Go Rider.

 

“Listen, I have to go back to the set tomorrow,” said Anna. “How would you like to be an extra?”

 

“Okay,” said the Go-Go Rider.

 

“But what if she uses her laser on the set?” asked Aubrey.

 

“No, there is no sign of her enemies here, I hope,” said Anna.

 

But little did they know, that a suspicious man sitting at a table was looking at them.

 

So the Go-Go Rider got to be an extra on the set of Anna’s movie. It was a courtroom scene where Anna’s character was defending her client. The Go-Go Rider was just an audience member and Anna instructed her to sit there and do nothing.

 

After many takes, everyone broke for lunch. Anna went over to the Go-Go Rider.

 

“How are you keeping, Rider?” she asked her.

 

“Hadn’t said a word,” said the Go-Go Rider. “I could do this all day.”

 

They looked over and saw that the director and the producer were having an argument.

 

“Oh no, not again,” said Anna.

 

“What is wrong?” asked the Go-Go Rider.

 

“The director showed dallies of the movie to studio executives and they don’t like them,” answered Anna. “I feel like a jerk now. I hated working on this movie, but now it looks like production will be shut down.”

 

“Well, we can only hope that something good will happen,” said the Go-Go Rider.

 

That night, Aubrey was doing her last night of stand up.

 

“Thank you very much, smell ya later, losers!”

 

She walked back into her dressing room and saw that she had visitors.

 

It was the acid scarred Nulla and two evil looking men and two evil looking woman.

 

Aubrey stood there with fear.

 

“So, you were one of the people who let us and the Go-Go Rider into your world,” said Nulla.

 

“Yeah,” Aubrey said nervously.

 

“Where is she?” asked Nulla.

 

An assistant came in to see what the hubbub was.

 

“What’s going on here?” she asked.

 

Nulla looked at one of her girls and nodded.

 

The evil girl pointed her bracelet at the assistant and fired a laser beam at her.

 

The poor assistant screamed as her whole body melted into a puddle of gore and bones. Aubrey couldn’t believe it. She looked at the gory mess in horror.

 

 "Oh fuck me......"

 

“Now, the Go-Go Rider, if you please,” Nulla told her.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Back in the house, Go-Go Rider was watching trailers to Anna’s movies on YouTube. Anna entered the living room wearing Go-Go Rider’s suit. The Rider laughed.

 

“It really SUITS you!”

 

“Thanks,” replied Anna.

 

“I’ve been watching trailers to your movies,” said the Go-Go Rider. “You’re actually a very good actress.”

 

“Oh, it’s very kind of you to lie,” replied Anna.

 

“Well, you did nominated for an……….,” began the Go-Go Rider as she looked up Anna’s imdb page. “............Oscar. That’s it.”

 

“Yeah, someone up there likes me,” said Anna as she left the room to change her clothes. “Good thing I didn’t fire that laser.”

 

“Safety first,” said the Go-Go Rider. “So what made you wanna be an actress.”

 

“I dunno,” said Anna. “The fame and the fortune, mostly. No, it’s because I love movies and I wanted to be in them. I guess in our fantasies, people desire to be superheroes.”

 

She came back wearing her own clothes.

 

“But you’re the real deal. You’re an actual superhero.”

 

“Well, I just do my job,” said the Go-Go Rider. “Much like your soldiers and police force.”

 

“Mmm,” said Anna as she sat beside the Go-Go Rider, who just happened to be watching a video of Anna’s shower scene from ‘Pitch Perfect’.

 

“No, no turn that off!” laughed Anna.

 

“But you have nice skin,” said the Go-Go Rider.

 

“No, I’m not a goddess like Gal Gadot,” laughed Anna. “Watch something else!”

 

“Who’s Gal Gadot?” asked the Go-Go Rider.

 

“A really awesome Israeli actress and soldier,” answered Anna. “Now watch something else!”

 

“An actress and a soldier?” asked the Go-Go Rider. “Would you like to do that?”

 

“Fuck no! I’m not army material!” laughed Anna. “Look at me, I’m short and perverted.”

 

“Why do you always complain about how short you are?” asked the Go-Go Rider. “In your book, you whine about it constantly.”

 

“You read my book?” asked Anna. “Oh shit.”

 

“Yep, I read it whilst working that day on your movie,” answered the Go-Go Rider. “And I must say, it is quite juicy all the material you write. You wrote that you didn’t masturbate for six weeks to get the perfect orgasm.”

 

“I could be the next Jackie Collins,” laughed Anna.

 

“Who?” asked the Go-Go Rider.

 

“A novelist who wrote raunchy books,” answered Anna. “She passed away a few years ago.”

 

“Oh sorry to hear that,” replied the Go-Go Rider. “Would her books be as raunchy as this ‘Fifty Shades’?”

 

“Yes, but without the bad dialogue,” answered Anna. “I mean come on; ‘Is this where you keep your Xbox?’ Ugh, Jesus Christ.”

 

“That sounds awful,” said the Go-Go Rider.

 

“I know, and it was made into a terrible movie,” replied Anna. “The worst fuckin’ chemistry EVER!”

 

“I hope my boyfriend made it safely through the game,” said the Go-Go Rider with a sigh.

 

The Go-Go Rider’s boyfriend in the game was the Blue Rider. As bad as the game’s dialogue was, at least their chemistry was believable.

 

Suddenly Anna realised something.

 

“Wait, if you and your boyfriend made it into this world,” she began to ask the Go-Go Rider. “Does that mean your enemies made it through too?”

 

“It is possible,” answered the Go-Go Rider.

 

“Oh fuck,” said Anna with fear.

 

“Don’t worry, as long as you got me to fight them off, you’ll be fine,” replied the Go-Go Rider.

 

KABOOM!

 

The door exploded, and Anna and the Go-Go Rider jumped. They turned around and saw Nulla holding onto Aubrey as she dragged into the room. Nulla’s minions came in as well. Aubrey had vomit all over her shirt.

 

“Nulla Novitate!” said the Go-Go Rider.

 

“Well, well, if it isn’t the Go-Go Rider,” said Nulla. “And this must be the woman who let you out.”

 

“Hi,” gretted Anna nervously.

 

“You perverted friend spilled the beans,” said Nulla looking at Aubrey. “And everything else she ate that went down her shirt.”

 

“Is that puke?” asked Anna.

 

“One of her minions shot a woman with a laser and she fuckin’ turned inside out!” cried Aubrey. “I can’t get that image out of my head!”

 

“You’re coming with us, Go-Go Rider!” said Nulla as her minions grabbed onto Go-Go Rider’s arms and dragged her out of the room.

 

“Wait! My suit!” cried the Go-Go Rider.

 

“We are going to fight to the death without your suit,” laughed Nulla evilly.

 

Anna and Aubrey were going to follow them, but their path was blocked by two of Nulla’s minions.

 

“Make sure these two don’t leave this house,” instructed Nulla, as she and her other two minions took the Go-Go Rider away.

 

The minions guarding Anna and Aubrey pointed their laser guns at them.

 

Poor Anna and Aubrey were defeated. Anna sadly walked over to the sofa and just sat down with tears in her eyes. Aubrey sat down with and put her arm on her shoulder.

 

“I wish I never played that fucking game,” said Anna as tears rolled down her cheeks. “Because of me, I let the villains out. I’m such an asshole!”

 

“I played the game too,” replied Aubrey. “In fact I completed some of the harder levels.”

 

Anna sank down and placed her head on Aubrey’s lap.

 

“As if the world hasn’t gone to Hell already,” sobbed Anna.

 

Aubrey stroked Anna’s head.

 

“At least I’m here with my best friend,” Aubrey told her.

 

Suddenly, one of the minions exploded into a mess of gore. Anna and Aubrey turned around and saw a man dressed in a blue suit and helmet, similar to Go-Go Rider’s. The other minion and the Blue Rider looked at each other face to face. The minion tried to shoot at the Rider, but he dodged all the lasers with an impressive display of acrobats. Anna and Aubrey ran out of the room to avoid being hit by the laser that were creating holes in the walls.

 

The Blue Rider ran behind the minion and punched his way into her back, and then…….

 

RIIIIPPPPPPPPP!!!!

 

He tore out her spine through her back. The minion fell to the floor, dead.

 

“You’re very spineless!” laughed the Blue Rider.

 

Anna and Aubrey entered the room and saw the Blue Rider and his handiwork. The Rider took his helmet off.

 

“Good evening, ladies.”

 

“Dude, that was fucked up,” said Aubrey. “You tore out her spine.”

 

“Well, it has to be done,” said the Blue Rider.

 

“The Go-Go Rider was taken away by that Nulla chick,” said Anna. 

 

"Where were you?" Aubrey asked the Blue Rider.

 

"When I arrived on your planet, I ended up outside a big hotel," explained the Blue Rider. "The building was being attacked by a space arachnid, so I blasted it. The staff in the hotel were so grateful, they let me stay in there for free, until I found my girlfriend. When I heard Nulla was at that comedy place you were performing, I made my way over and saw Nulla bringing you over here. Then I saw them taking my girlfriend away to that place called Lincoln Memorial,”. 

 

“I gotta get her the suit,” said Anna as she ran out of the room, and came back holding onto the Go-Go Rider suit.

 

Aubrey felt it.

 

“Oh, so spandexy,” she said.

 

“C’mon, ladies,” announced the Blue Rider. “Let’s go save my girlfriend and the world!”

 

“But first,” said Anna looking sick. “I gotta go puke!”

 

Anna ran to the bathroom and could be heard vomiting.

 

“First time she saw someone getting killed?” asked the Blue Rider.

 

Aubrey nodded.

 

“My first time too,” said Aubrey. “You can tell from the vomit on my…….. I really gotta change my shirt.”

 

 

 

 

That night, Nulla and her minions brought the Go-Go Rider outside the Lincoln Memorial. Go-Go Rider looked around and saw the rest of the monsters from the game. There were orcs, Mad Max like punks, big spiders and octopus like creatures. All the monsters were all dodgy looking and polygonned like a 90’s N64 or PS1 game.

 

“I have brought the rest of the party to this Washington!” said Nulla. “Friends, this stinking pile of tramp is the Go-Go Rider without her puny suit on. She can kick major butt with it on, but let’s see how she does it with it off.”

 

Nulla punched Go-Go Rider in the stomach, and she coughed up blood.

 

“Pathetic,” said Nulla.

 

All of the monsters laughed.

 

“I’m gonna have so much fun,” said Nulla. "You damaged my face, so now I'm going to damage yours."

 

And she punched Go-Go Rider right in the face, giving her a black eye.

 

“C’mon, you simpleton, hit me,” Nulla taunted the Rider.

 

The Go-Go Rider and gave a very weak punch to Nulla’s face. Everyone all laughed and Nulla nodded her head. Then she gave a massive attack of punches, kicks and blows all over Go-Go Rider’s body. The poor girl fell to the ground with the monsters all laughing at her.

 

From her dazed vision, she saw her boyfriend, the Blue Rider and Anna and Aubrey. The Go-Go Rider smiled and got up. Although her face was all bruised and bloody, she looked at Nulla with a smile.

 

“My grandmother punches harder than you,” she said to her.

 

Nulla was about to punch the Go-Go Rider again, until the Blue rider threw her own suit at her.

 

“Oh poop,” said Nulla, as she saw the Go-Go Rider clutching onto her suit.

 

Then the Rider put it on and was now the supercharged GO-GO RIDER!!!!

 

“Why don’t you hit me again, bi-otch?” insisted the Rider to Nulla.

 

But the cowardly villain threw a grappling hook at the Washington Monument. The hook reached the top of the Monument and Nulla pulled herself up there. She then just sat up at the top.

 

“Come and get me, Go-Go Rider!” taunted Nulla.

 

The Go-Go Rider and Blue Rider were surrounded by monsters. So were Anna and Aubrey.

 

“Dude, what the fuck are we doing here? What the fuck are we doing here?” whined Aubrey.

 

“ANNA! AUBREY!” cried the Go-Go Rider as she pulled two small balls from her pocket. A dark blue one and a red one. The Rider threw them at Anna and Aubrey and they hit the actresses. Suddenly there was a bright light and Anna and Aubrey were transformed into…..

 

GO-GO RIDERS!

 

Anna was the dark blue one and Aubrey was the red one. However, Aubrey’s helmet was backwards. She had to take it off, turn it to the right direction and put it back on again.

 

“Go up the Monument!” cried the Go-Go Rider. “Stop Nulla!”

 

“How?” asked Anna.

 

"You can climb up the Monument like that Spider-person," answered the Go-Go Rider.

 

"Fuckin' A," said Aubrey. 

 

 

So she and Anna ran toward the Monument.

 

Whilst this was going on, the director of Anna’s movie heard about the commotion. He had brought his camera operator with him and told him to film the battle.

 

“What about sound?” asked the operator.

 

“We’ll add it all in post,” said the director. “The execs are gonna cream their pants when they see this!”

 

“I thought you were meant to be shooting a political Thriller,” said the camera operator.

 

“Well, we could change the story a bit,” said the director. “Now shoot!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Go-Go Rider and Blue Rider were surrounded by monsters, but they were confident as fuck.

 

“Baby, what time is it?” asked the Blue Rider.

 

“It’s Go-Go time!” answered the Go-Go Rider as she fired a massive laser from her wrist.

 

The laser hit an orc and he exploded into a puddle of gore. Blue Rider also fired his laser at an orc and he exploded as well.

 

Then more orcs and punks ran toward the Riders, they just took them out with fantastic martial arts moves. The orcs and punks all laid in a massive mountain.

 

Go-Go Rider and the Blue Rider fired their lasers at the mountain of bodies and they all exploded into a big splash of blood, organs and bones. The Riders were soaked with the stuff.

 

The rest of the monsters looked at the Riders and roared at them. The Riders charged up their lasers into a massive laser ball....

 

And....

 

ZAPP!

 

The monsters all exploded into polygon bliss.

 

“I never get tired of killing the bad guys,” said the Blue Rider.

 

Meanwhile, Anna and Aubrey made it to the bottom of the Monument. Aubrey pointed her wrist at Nulla who was at the top.

 

“I’m gonna shoot the bitch,” she said.

 

“No, you’ll blow up the Monument,” replied Anna. “Think how much money it would take to repair it. And we’ll be sued.”

 

So the actresses went right next to one of the sides of the Monument and placed their fingers on it. They were sticking. Then Anna and Aubrey began to crawl up the wall like Spider-man. They crawled up and up and up and up.

 

“This is fuckin’ trippy,” said Aubrey.

 

They reached closer and closer and closer to Nulla, who was getting bored waiting.

 

“Sometime today, ladies!” the villianess called out.

 

“Keep your G-string on!” Aubrey called back.

 

“I am not wearing a G-string or anything underneath this,” called Nulla.

 

“Kinky bitch,” said Anna.

 

She and Aubrey made it to the middle of the Monument and Nulla fired a laser from her wrist. She tried to hit Anna and Aubrey, but they dodged jumping away from the laser and the slid down and clinged onto the wall again.

 

“Hey, that was a dick move!” said Anna.

 

“What do you expect, I’m a villainess, morons!” shouted Nulla as she fired more lasers.

 

Anna and Aubrey dodged more and more of them, until Aubrey couldn't take it anymore.

 

“That’s it! I’m gonna shoot this cunt!”

 

Aubrey leapt off the wall and fired her laser wildly at Nulla. The Villainess leapt off the top of the Monument and just fell straight toward the ground. She landed on her feet.

 

“How the fuck did she land on her feet?” asked Anna.

 

Nulla fired a big massive laser at Anna and Aubrey. They both yelped, and they jumped off the wall and landed on the ground. The massive laser hit the top of the Monument, blasting off the pointed top.

 

“Oh lady, you are in trouble,” said Aubrey.

 

“Trouble is my middle name,” said Nulla.

 

“No it isn’t,” replied Anna.

 

“What would a perverted actress who whines about her height would know?” asked Nulla. “After I kill you two and your Rider friends, I’m gonna kill your president, and become president of this planet myself!”

 

She laughed evilly.

 

“You can go ahead and kill him,” said Anna. “The guy’s an asshole.”

 

“Really?” asked Nulla.

 

“Yeah, he’s rude, racist, sexist, narcissistic, a horrible person,” said Aubrey. “He can make anybody cry…….”

 

She snapped her fingers.

 

“........like that.”

 

“Then you don’t mind if I go to his house right now and murder him?” asked Nulla.

 

“No go ahead,” said Anna.

 

“Okay, here I go,” said Nulla as she began to walk to the White House.

 

She stopped and looked back at Anna and Aubrey.

 

“You sure?” Nulla asked them.

 

“Yeah, go on,” answered Anna and Aubrey.

 

Nulla walked on for a bit and then stopped and turned around.

 

“Listen, are you sure…….”

 

“Will you just shut up and go!” cried Anna.

 

“Okay, I’m going!” Nulla called back.

 

She walked on for a few seconds…….

 

And then…….

 

ZAPP!

 

Nulla fell to the ground with her ankles blown off. She howled in pain. Anna and Aubrey blew the smoke from the wrists.

 

“One thing about villains from cheesy 90’s shows,” said Anna. “They’re very stupid.”

 

“But they have to be, or else there won’t be any more episodes,” added Aubrey.

 

Anna and Aubrey stood over the frightened Nulla. The villainess aimed her wrist at Anna and Aubrey, and they pointed their wrists at her.

 

“Well, ladies,” began Nulla. “Who wants to go first?”

 

ZAPP!

 

Nulla howled in pain as her arm appeared to be blasted off.

 

The Go-Go Rider and Blue Rider walked toward the three.

 

“Good work, Anna and Aubrey,” said the Go-Go Rider.

 

“We don’t kill anyone, so we just blew off her ankles instead,” said Anna.

 

“Let me do the honour,” replied the Go-Go Rider. “Kneel, Nulla.”

 

Nulla kneeled and looked at the Go-Go Rider.

 

“This isn’t over, Rider,” she said to her. “Even if you kill me, I will return and get you!”

 

“How?” asked Aubrey.

 

“Well, unless the writer of the game brings her back for no reason,” answered Anna.

 

The Go-Go Rider looked at Nulla and……..

 

 "Nulla, prepare to get a splitting headache!"

 

 She let out a mighty scream as she did a karate chop to Nulla’s head.

 

SLICE!

 

Nulla’s whole body was sliced into two, split down the middle. The halves of Nulla split apart and laid on the ground. Her organs and bones all fell out.

 

Aubrey felt a bit sick.

 

“Oh shit, not again! Blleeeuuuuggghhhh!!”

 

She vomited inside her helmet. She then pulled out her helmet and all the vomit poured out over her upper body.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“No matter, we have saved the night!” announced the Go-Go Rider.

 

Suddenly, there was a massive round of applause. There was about 500 people all clapping and cheering. They had just witnessed the battle. The Go-Go Rider, the Blue Rider, Anna and Aubrey all waved.

 

“We saved the world, bitches!” cried Aubrey.

 

Then the Riders made their over to the Reflecting Pool.

 

“This calls for a celebration,” said the Go-Go Rider as she began to take off her suit.

 

The Blue rider did too. Everyone gasped as the Riders were now both completely naked. The Riders got into the pool and started to make out and touch each others’ bodies passionately.

 

The police were about to arrest them, until Anna and Aubrey went up to them.

 

“Look, they saved the world tonight,” said Anna. “Let them have it.”

 

The police called back the arrest and just watched the sexy Riders have it off in the pool. Everyone took out their Smartphones and began filming them. So did the director and camera operator.

 

“Wait till the execs see this!” said the director with glee.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Go-Go Rider, the Blue Rider, Anna and Aubrey were heroes and were awarded with medals outside the Lincoln Memorial the next day.

 

“Makes up for not getting the Oscar, huh, bitch?” Aubrey asked Anna.

 

The Go-Go Rider walked up to the podium and spoke to the massive crowd.

 

“Thank you, people of Earth. Erm, sorry about all the blood and gore and not saving the Washington Monument in time,” she said. “But I couldn’t have done without my boyfriend, the Blue Rider……..”

 

“Wonder what their real names are,” Aubrey muttered to Anna.

 

“Shut up, dude,” Anna muttered back. “You’ll ruin the mystery.”

 

“.......and of course my two new best friends,” continued the Go-Go Rider. “Two very perverted actresses with wicked senses of humour, Anna and Aubrey.”

 

Everyone applauded the perverted actresses.

 

“But now, my boyfriend and I must leave you,” said the Rider.

 

There were plenty of “Awwwwww”’s from the audience. Even Anna and Aubrey looked disappointed.

 

“You have to go?” asked Anna.

 

“A Rider’s work is never done,” answered the Blue Rider. “There are more planets that need help.”

 

“That fuckin’ sucks,” said Aubrey. “I love you guys. I’ll never forget you.”

 

The Go-Go Rider hugged both Aubrey and Anna.

 

“You’re so cool,” said Anna. “If I ever write a second book, it’ll be about this.”

 

“I hope to pick up a copy,” said the Go-Go Rider. “And now, goodbye.”

 

The Go-Go Rider pressed a few buttons on her wrist and a porthole appeared.

 

“I bid you all farewell, planet Earth,” announced the Go-Go Rider. “And to you, Anna and Aubrey.”

 

“We’ll miss you,” said Anna with tears in her eyes.

 

“Goodbye, you sex gods,” said an equally teary Aubrey.

 

“Promise me you two will never stay out of trouble,” said the Blue Rider.

 

“We promise,” said Anna and Aubrey.

 

The riders jumped into the porthole.

 

And there was a flash.

 

And they were gone.

 

Anna and Aubrey just stood there looking into the air. They were sad that their new friends were gone.

 

“Fuck me, what a week’s it’s been,” said Anna.

 

Oh, by the way, Anna and Aubrey had to give back their Go-Go Rider suits.

 

The director of Anna’s movie proposed many changed to the story and the execs saw the footage of the Riders fighting the monsters, plus Anna and Aubrey fighting Nulla.

 

The movie was not just a political thriller, but a political thriller about monsters and Go-Go Riders. Anna’s character was now both a lawyer and a Go-Go Rider. Many scenes were reshot and redited. Even Aubrey came back to do reshoots.

 

A year later, and the movie was finally finished. It even had a title “The Go-Go Rider: Based on a True Story”. It was about Anna’s character who was a lawyer by day and a Rider by night. The computer and PC game were also added to the story.

 

The film was a big hit at Sundance and will have a theatrical release very soon.

 

Anna was still missing the Go-Go Rider though. Not a day went by that she didn’t think of her friend.

 

That was until that Christmas, she got a present from a familiar face. It was Jonathan the props man.

 

He had given Anna the Windows 95 and a new game:

 

“Go-Go Rider and the Planet of Mysterioso”.

 

Anna was over the moon. She invited Aubrey to her house and the two of them sat in front of the computer and were about to start the game.

 

“Anna, what time is it?” asked Aubrey.

 

“It’s Go-Go time, motherfucker!” said Anna as she clicked onto ‘Start Game’.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The studio exec had just finished reading Anna and Aubrey’s script about their Go-Go Rider movie.

 

That’s right, this whole story was all just a movie script Anna and Aubrey had written.

 

GOTCHA!

 

The actresses sat in front of the desk, eagerly waiting for the exec’s reply.

 

He looked at them and said….

 

“Yeah, I liked it. Greenlit!”

 

Anna and Aubrey cheered.

 

“Now, who do we get to play the Go-Go Rider?” asked the exec.

 

“I was thinking Sofia Boutella,” said Aubrey.

 

“We’ll see,” said the exec.

 

THE END

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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